WE ROCKED ABOUT 50,000 PEOPLE LAST SUNDAY AT THE HAIGHT STREET FAIR! YOU CAN SEE AWESOME PHOTOS OF THIS GERIATIC SPECTACLE AT LOADS OF PLACES ONLINE, BUT SOME OF OUR FAVORITES CAN BE SEEN HERE BY PHOTOGRAPHER RAY AHNER. WE'D LIKE TO THANK SUPERPROMOTER dMARIE (AND STAFF!) & MOM'S TATTOO PARLOR FOR LETTING US CHANGE INTO OUR SUPERHERO OUTFITS! WE HAD A KILLER TIME IN RENO A COUPLE OF WEEKENDS AGO AT OUR BUDDY, DAVE'S PLACE. BUT BEFORE THE SHOW WE HAD THE UNMITIGATED HONOR OF BEING PHOTOGRAPHED BY ASA GILMORE. WE CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE HOW GOOD THESE PHOTOS ARE. SOME FANS HAVE ALREADY SAID THAT THEY WILL NEED THERAPY AFTER VIEWING THESE...IF YER A MEMBER OF MySpace YOU CAN SEE THEM HERE. WE'LL BE HOLED UP IN THE STUDIO RECORDING A NEW ALBUM THIS SUMMER. SEE YOU NEXT FALL!

THE GRANNIES WILL BE HEADLINING THE 31RST ANNUAL HAIGHT STREET FAIR THIS YEAR! YUP PLAYING IN PRETTY MUCH THE SAME SPOT AS THE GRATEFUL DEAD DID ALL THOSE YEARS AGO. WE GO ON @ 4PM SUNDAY JUNE 8TH. OH MY.

YOU CAN SEE SOME CLIPS FROM OUR LAST PARIS GIG IN JUNE 2007 - HERE IS "God Bless A Man In A Dress" & HERE ARE "Brain Freeze"/"Irritate"

WE BECAME THE FIRST BAND TO SELL OUT ANNIE'S SOCIAL CLUB IN ITS 2+ YEAR HISTORY LAST SATURDAY NIGHT! THE FACT THAT IT WAS DANO DISTORTION'S 36th BIRTHDAY PARTY AND SETS BY THE RESURRECTION, ALL-TIME HIGHS & FLEXX BRONCO DIDN'T HURT EITHER. WE RULE. WE'LL BE PLAYING A COUPLE MORE SF SHOWS, FOLLOWED BY ANOTHER TRIP TO OUR BUDDY DAVE'S DISTILLERY IN RENO AND THEN HITTING THE STUDIO IN OAKLAND,CA TO BEGIN TRACKING STUFF FOR A NEW ALBUM. WE'LL BE WORKING WITH BRIAN HOOD.

WE HAVE UNFORTUNATELY BECOME THE VICTIMS OF A CD MANUFACTURING HOAX/SCAM. CD-XXL TOOK OUR MONEY IN FULL FOR A PRESSING OF OUR NEW ALBUM,"incontinence", AND GAVE US NOTHING. WE FEEL DUMB, BUT PLAN TO TRACK DOWN THIS PIECE OF HORSE PUCKEY AT HIS HOVEL IN LONG ISLAND, NY AND DEAL WITH HIM ACCORDINGLY. CD-XXL IS A TOTAL SCAM AS IS THE WEBSHITE IT RUNS OUT OF, BANDIFESTO. HELP SHUT THESE FUCKERZ DOWN!! FYI PayPal HELPED THESE ASSHOLES STEAL OUR MONEY. THEY TOOK A CUT OF THE MONEY WE WERE RIPPED OFF, AND DID NOT HELP TO GET OUR MONEY REFUNDED. IN OUR HUMBLE OPINION, THEY SUCK MAJOR ASS AND DESERVE TO BE LOOKED AT BY THE FEDERAL TRADE COMMISSION. WE ARE, HOWEVER, REPRESSING WITH A MORE REPUTABLE MANUFACTURER AND WILL HAVE THE CD AT OUR CD RELEASE PARTY THIS FRIDAY, ASSFUCKS BE DAMNED!

WE HAVE A NEW 18 SONG CD CALLED "incontinence" BEING PRESSED RIGHT NOW! IT SHOULD HIT STREETS SEPTEMBER 1, 2007. IT CONSISTS ENTIRELY OF STUDIO RECORDINGS FROM OUR 8 YEAR CAREER (so far! We ain't going away) THAT NEVER MADE IT ONTO OFFICIAL RELEASES...8 ORIGINALS, 10 COVERS, AN INTERVIEW FROM KPSU AND SOME SNORING FROM NADINE IN DEN HAAG! WHO COULD ASK FOR MORE? WELL CHECK OUT THE SHOWS PAGE TO SEE WHERE WE'LL BE CELEBRATIN' THIS DASHING NEW DISC AND YOU MAYBE ABLE TO GIT YERSELF ONE FREE! BECAUSE WE LIKE YOU. NO, NOT YOU, YOU!

BACK FROM EUROPE W/ A MINIMUM OF DISEASES, SOME BROKEN EQUIPMENT & A FEW TALL TALES TO TELL...HERE'S SOME GREAT FOTOS FROM COLOGNE, GERMANY TAKEN BY MARC GAERTNER

WE WILL BE HEADING BACK TO EUROPE AT THE END OF MAY 2007 FOR A QUICK 2 WEEK TOUR. CHECK HERE FOR TOUR DATES AND GO HERE IF YOU WANT TO BOOK US.

WE ARE ALSO BUSY COMPILING AN ALBUM OF UNRELEASED DEMOS & COVERSONGS TENTATIVELY ENTITLED "incontinence (1999-2007)" - STAY TUNED!

AND NOW FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE, EL SQUEAKY FILMS "VIVA LA ELECTROCUCION" FROM OUR LAST 12 GALAXIES SHOW. SEE IT HERE.

PLEASE TO SEE US "PERFORMING" DEVO'S 'GATES OF STEEL' AT THEE PARKSIDE 11.25.2006 - SHOT BY THE FABULOUS MISS SQUEAKY! GO HERE CURIOUS ONLOOKER!

YOU CAN SEE A RATHER STRANGE VIEWING OF ONE OF OUR BELGIAN SHOWS HERE.

THE GRANNIES NEW CD/DVD "Gumjob/Granarchy in the E.U." IS HERE!

WE'VE GOT A NEW LIMITED DESIGN T-SHIRT AVAILABLE RIGHT NOW! THE FRONT HAS A HUGE JACK DANIEL'S GRANNY-STYLE LOGO! AND THE BACK COMMEMORATES OUR NEW "CLASSIC" SONG, 'GOD BLESS A MAN IN A DRESS'. SIZES ARE ONLY IN LADIES M SPAGHETTI OR T, AND L & XL IN MEN'S. $15 POSTPAID IN USA (Add $2.50 for CANADA. $7.50 everywhere else) EITHER PAYPAL (Please enter douglasfcawley(AT)comast.net as recipient E-Mail) OR CASH TO OUR PO BOX (See CONTACT page) AND WE'LL HEAVE ONE YER WAY!!

WE'VE FINISHED RECORDING AND MIXING OUR NEXT ALBUM, WHICH WILL BE CALLED,"GUMJOB" AND WILL HAVE 11 NEW ORIGINAL SONGS (HEAR 4 OF THE NEW ONES STREAMING HERE) AND 2 COVERS ("GATES OF STEEL" - DEVO & "OVER THE EDGE" - WIPERS). THIS NEW CD WILL BE PACKAGED WITH A DVD OF OUR 2005 EURO TOUR AND WILL BE AVAILABLE LATE SEPTEMBER 2006

OUR HEROES WILL BE HOLED UP FOR THE NEXT MONTH W/ PRODUCER JACK ENDINO CREATING THEIR 4TH LONG PLAYER TO BE RELEASED ON WONDERTAKER THIS FALL.

ALL THE GRANNIES MUSIC IS NOW AVAILABLE ON iTUNES. FUCKIN' A RIGHT!

HEY WE GOT NEW PHOTOS OF OUR SORRY ASSES IN THE PHOTO PAGE COURTESTY OF GranHoleCover's TECHNIKAL ABILERTIES!

AND HERE'S SOME PIX COURTESY OF RAY AHNER FROM OUR SHOW W/ BROKEN BONES LAST MONTH!

BEEN BUSY HONING OUR LIVE SKILLS, AS IN LIVE ON STAGE (please come see us to experience said improvements), WORKING ON WRITING SONGS FOR OUR UPCOMING RECORDING SESSION WITH UNCLE JACK ENDINO. WE'LL BE RECORDING OUR FOURTH LONG-PLAYER, TENTATIVELY TITLED, "GUMJOB". IT WILL SMOKE YOUR ASS. TRUST US. OR NOT, SEE IF WE CARE. ACTUALLY WE DO, BUT THAT'S ANOTHER DEEP-ROOTED EMOTION SUITABLE ONLY FOR OUR GROUP THERAPY SESSIONS...HEY HERE'S SOMETHING SPECIAL! YOU CAN GO HERE AND DOWNLOAD OR STREAM (or i guess, just read on your monitor, tho that wouldn't be much fun...) A LIVE KPSU SHOW FROM LAST NOVEMBER! IT IS ACTUALLY RECORDED VERY WELL AND SOUNDS GOOD. I MEAN, CONSIDERING ITS US AND ALL..

WELL WE BLEW THE DOORS OFF OF ANNIE'S SOCIAL CLUB LAST FRIDAY NIGHT, AS WE WERE THE VERY FIRST BAND TO ROCK THE BRAND NEW CLUB! SINGER, WHEEL CHER DEBUTED "TENNIS GRANNIE" (FIRST TIME THIS SIDE OF THE ATLANTIC!), WHICH IS KINDA TOO SCARY TO EVEN GO INTO. ALSO IN A MOMENT OF DIVINE INSPIRATION WHEEL CHER AND GUITARIST, BACK-SLASH, INVENTED THE "ELECTRIFIED ANUS"!!! YES, THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS, WHEEL CHER'S BUTTHOLE CONNECTED TO A MARSHALL STACK TURNED TO 11. SOMETHING THAT NEEDS TO BE SEEN AND HEARD!

OUR EX-GUITARIST, BUZZY DOUCHEMORE, HAS A NEW BAND CALLED COBRETTI THAT PRETTY MUCH SMOKES.

YOU CAN READ A FEATURE ON US IN SAN JOSE'S FABULOUS ZERO MAGAZINE HERE.

WE ARE REALLY HONORED TO BE PLAYING THE GRAND RE-OPENING AND RETURN OF PUNKROCK AT ANNIE'S SOCIAL CLUB (formerly THE CHERRY BAR and more importantly THE COVERED WAGON SALOON before that!) ON FRIDAY JANUARY 13th!

OUR EX-BASSIST, DUSTY TITTIES HAS JUST JOINED THE LINCOLNS. GOOD LUCK TO HIM. GOOD LUCK TO THEM!

WE JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE 8 FOOT BY 5 FOOT OIL PAINTING BY FRANK BAUER OF US SOLD FOR $25,000 IN COLOGNE, GERMANY AND HAD THE DISTINCTION OF BEING LABELLED THE UGLIEST PAINTING IN THE SHOW! SHEESH, AND WE WORK SO VERY HARD ON OUR OUTFITS...MAYBE IT'S OUR FIGURES..I MEAN, SERIOUSLY, DO OUR NEW FALL FASHIONS MAKE OUR ASSES LOOK TOO BIG?

JUST BACK FROM THE GREAT NW WHERE WE KICKED SOME ASS, POLISHED OUR LIVERS, AND FORGOT TO SLEEP...SEE PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE HERE.

NEXT WEEKEND WE WILL BE BRINGING OUR SPECIAL BRAND OF PUNKROCK TO OUR BRETHERN & SISTEREN IN THE GREAT NORTHWEST. 5 SHOWS IN 3 DAYS. TOO MUCH YOU SAY? WELL, I SUPPOSE THAT YOU COULD BE RIGHT, BUT SEEING AS WE HAVE NO REGARD FOR OUR PHYSICAL WELL-BEING, WE FEEL THAT WE MUST ROCK. SO GODDAMNED IT, DIM THE LIGHTS AND CHILL THE HAM,'COS HERE WE COME. AS OUR STELLAR BASSIST, SOGGY T. BAGGINS, HAS PREVIOUS COMMITTMENTS WITH HIS OTHER ROCK OUTFIT, BLACK FURIES, WE HAVE RECALLED THE ONE AND ONLY DUSTY TITTIES TO DUST 'THEM', HIS BASS & WIG OFF AND GET IN THE VAN. ALSO PLEASE TO NOTE THAT IN AN ONGOING EFFORT TO HUMBLE OURSELVES AND REMEMBER WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE THE OPENER ON A ROCK BILL WE WILL BE OPENING MOST OF THESE NW SHOWS. ie IF YOU COME LATE YOU WILL NOT SEE US PLAY. YOU WILL SEE QUALITY ROCK, BUT YOU WILL NOT SEE US. THANK YOU. GO AWAY.

UM, WE SEEMED TO HAVE PASSED SOME SORT OF MILESTONE (INFAMY?, TOO ANNOYING FOR TOO LONG? VISUALLY PLEASING?) AND NOW HAVE A PORTRAIT (OIL ON CANVAS) JUST COMPLETED OF US PLAYING AT THE UNIQUE CLUB/DUSSELDORF, GERMANY BY FRANK BAUER WHICH CAN BE VIEWED IN ALL ITS (AND OUR) GLORY, RIGHT GODDAMNED HERE. OUR COLLECTIVE WIGS ARE OFF TO MR. BAUER.

WE WILL BE PLAYING A NEW ORLEANS DISASTER RELIEF BENEFIT AT 12 GALAXIES SUN SEP 11 W/ THE PLUS ONES, LUXXURY, POLKACIDE & RASHMON EFFECT. COME OUT AND GET DRUNK FOR A GOOD CAUSE!

NEW COMP OUT ON WANKER FEATURING "HOMO MOMENT" BY US. MORE DETAILS HERE.

IT IS WITH HEARTFELT SADNESS THAT WE ANNOUNCE THAT GUITERRORIST BUZZY DOUCHEMORE HAS HUNG UP HIS DRESS, AXE & WIG. WE WISH HIM ALL THE BEST IN THE OLD FOLK'S HOME AND HOPE NO ONE WILL HIDE HIS FALSE TEETH AND/OR COLOSTEMY BAG. IN HAPPIER NEWS WE ARE PROUD TO ANNOUNCE HIS REPLACEMENT - ONE DENTURA HOGFLOSS! D-FLOSS CUT HIS TEETH WITH THE BAND ON THEIR RECENT MONTH LONG JUANT ACROSS EUROPE. HE APPEARS TO KNOW THE SONGS AND LOOKS FETCHING IN A DRESS! WELCOME AND GOOD FUCKING LUCK.

WE'RE BACK FROM RAVAGING EUROPE AND BOY DO WE NEED A SHOWER AND DELOUSING. HERE'S SOME PIX FROM THE AK47 IN DUSSELDORF, GERMANY CLICK HERE ASSBUCKET

ON MAY 25 WE WILL BE PLAYING OUR LAST SHOW BEFORE LEAVING FOR OUR SUMMER EURO TOUR. THIS SHOULD BE AN AWESOME SHOW W/ HIGHTOWER AND A SPECIAL SCREENING OF "WHO CARES: THE DUANE PETERS STORY", AN HOUR LONG DOCUMENTARY BY KEITH HAMM. THIS WILL BE AT THE ELBO ROOM, 647 VALENCIA STREET / SF.

A NEW COMP STRAIGHT OUTTA BLUE RIDGE, GEORGIA FEATURES THE GRANNIES ON THE LEAD TRACK! CHECK THIS OUT ON REV. COOTERFINGER'S AWESOME LABEL, ILLBILLY!

MAY 17th WILL BE THE EUROPEAN RELEASE DATE FOR THE GRANNIES,"ERECTED LADY MAN" ON TRIGGERFISH/CARGO. THERE WILL BE A RECORD RELEASE PARTY FOR IT/US AT THE AK47 IN DUSSELDORF GERMANY ON SAT JUNE 4th. BOOK YOUR TRAVEL PLANS NOW! HELL, BOOK OURS WHILE YOU'RE AT IT...

HERE'S A GRANNIE INTERVIEW ON A KOOL ENGLISH SITE. CHECK IT,G- FULL FRONTAL RECORDINGS.

THE GERMAN PRESS HAS STARTED AND FIRST OUT OF THE GATE IS WANKER WHO WILL BE FEATURING OUR MINUTE LONG SOON TO BE CLASSIC,"HOMO MOMENT", ON THEIR KILLER IN YOUR RADIO CD SAMPLER! THANKS DUDES!

OK YOU AXED FOR IT, YOU GOT IT - NEW GRANNIES T-SHIRTS! THESE ARE SPECIAL EDITION EUROPE 2005 TOUR SHIRTS W/ THE G IN FACE LOGO ON THE FRONT (SEE SHOWS PAGE FOR LOGO) AND TOUR DATES ON THE BACK. WHITE INK ON BLACK. ALL SIZES. GET 'EM AT OUR SHOWS OR E-MAIL US (SEE CONTACT PAGE). $17 POSTPAID IN USA. $20 OVERSEAS. THANK YOU & GOOD NIGHT.

A LARGE FRESH STEAMIN' HEAP O' GRANNIES GIG FLYERS ARE AVAILABLE FER YER VIEWING PLEASURE HERE!

WE WILL BE POSTING EUROPEAN TOUR DATES IN THE SHOWS SECTION. FOLKS IN EUROPE WHO WANT THE GRANNIES TO PLAY THEIR TOWN, PLEASE GO TO THE CONTACT PAGE, E-MAIL US AND WE'LL PUT YOU IN TOUCH WITH OUR PEOPLE. FOLKS WHO DO NOT WANT US TO COME TO THEIR TOWN - WE UNDERSTAND. PEACE.

SO WE LOST THE BIG CONTEST. SNIFF SNIFF. WE HAD A BLAST, SHOWED SOME "INDUSTRY" TYPES WHAT THE FUCK PUNKROCK IS SUPPOSED TO LOOK & SOUND LIKE, DINI SHOWED 'EM HIS ASS (REPEATEDLY), BUZZY PLAYED WITH A FUCKING BROKEN BACK AND 15 PERCOCETS. WE MADE FRIENDS WITH SOME KOOL PEOPLE LIKE T.O.S.A. - BAD ASS RAPPERS FROM SAN ANTONIO, TX AND THE WINNERS BANG SUGAR BANG FROM LOS ANGELES. THANKS TO ALL YOU FUCKS WHO CAME OUT AND THREW BEER AT US. YOU RULE. YES YOU DO!

OK SO SOMETHING IS DEFINITELY OUTTA WACK IN THIS UNIVERSE WHEN OUR HEROES FIND THEMSELVES IN THE TOP 6 OF 1000 ENTRANTS IN A DISCMAKER'S SPONSORED BATTLE O' THE BLANDS FOR $35,000 IN GRUBSTAKES. SHIT YOU NOT. 35 LARGE. WE 'BOUT SHAT OUR HOUSEDRESSES; BUT LIKE THE BATTLE-AXES WE ARE, WE'RE PREPARED TO DO IT. I THINK. MAYBE. OH FUCK, COME CHEER ALL THE BANDS AND YELL,"YOU SUCK!" AT US. WE LOVE IT. YUP REGULAR GLUTTONS FOR PUNISHMENT. THOSE BILLBOARD JUDGES MUSTA BEEN HITTIN' THE CRACKPIPE A BIT HARD TO ELECT OUR SORRY/SAGGY ASSES...

BUZZY DOUCHEMEMBER WAS SERIOUSLY INJURED THIS MONTH. THE LEFT-HANDED GRANNIE GUITARIST SHATTERED A VERTEBRA AND UNDERWENT A 12 HOUR SURGERY TO CLEAN IT OUT AND PUT IN AN IRON CROSS, WHICH WILL HELP BUZZY WALK (AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, ROCK) AGAIN. IF THIS SADDENS YOU (WHICH IT SHOULD), FEEL FREE TO SEND TAX-DEDUCTABLE U.S. CURRENCY TO THE DOUCHEMEMBER'S OFFSHORE ACCOUNT.

THE GRANNIES ALBUM, ERECTED LADY MAN, WILL BE RELEASED ON TRIGGERFISH/CARGO THROUGHOUT EUROPE IN MAY 2005. THE GRANNIES WILL INVADE EUROPE TO PROMOTE THIS RELEASE IN JUNE 2005.

WE'VE BEEN HONORED WITH A COVER OF "THE WRONG SONG" BY PATROCK OF DIRTY POWER. CHECK THIS OUT HERE BY CLICKING ON "ROCK"(NATURALLY) AND, YES, WE ARE FLATTERED.

WELL WELL WELL, IT SEEMS THAT ERECTED LADY MAN IS CUTTING A MIGHTY SWATH THESE DAYS. KSCU HAS THE GRANNIES AT NUMBER ONE ON ITS CMJ LOUD REPORT FOR THE SECOND STRAIGHT WEEK! THANKS TO NAKED ROB FOR PLAYING THE SHIT OUTTA THIS! HERE ARE SOME REVIEWS FOR YER PERUSAL; SLEAZEGRINDER OR PEACEDOGMAN. OR HERE'S AN INTERVIEW TOO.

THE GRANNIES THIRD ALBUM "ERECTED LADY MAN" IS OUT ON WONDERTAKER RECORDS. IT WAS RECORDED BYJACK ENDINO UP IN LEAFY SEATTLE LAST HALLOWEEN. 12 NEW SONGS OF MAXIMUM GRANNIE PUNKROCK ATTITUDE THAT DON'T SUCK.

WE MAY WASH OUR OUTFITS FOR THE NEW SEASON. WE MAY NOT. STAY TUNED...AND REMEMBER, WE'RE NOT HIP, WE'RE BROKEN HIP. AND WE'RE NOT PC, WE'RE BC. WE'RE NOT EMO, WE'RE CHEMO. SO THERE. PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT.