AFTER A MERE 13 YEARS OF RELEASING OUR OWN MUSIC, WE ARE EXTREMELY PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE THAT WE HAVE BEEN PICKED UP (COULD BE OUR GIRLISH GOOD LOOKS. OR NOT.) BY SAN ANTONIO TEXAS LABEL, SAUSTEX! AND TO CELEBRATE THIS, WE ARE RELEASING A SPLIT LP OF ALL NEW MATERIAL WITH AUSTIN, TX's HICKOIDS AND HEADING OUT ON A EUROPEAN TOUR WITH THEM IN MARCH!!! NOW THAT'S WHAT WE CALL A FULL DIAPER LOAD NEWS UPDATE YA' ALL! SEE OUR SHOWS PAGE FOR TOUR DATES AND HOPE TO SEE YOU!

PLEASE ACCEPT OUR APOLOGIES FOR THE CANCELLATION OF 2 SHOWS. GUITARIST SLUGGO' 4 YEAR SON WAS RECENTLY DIAGNOSED WITH LEUKEMIA AND THIS HAS NECESSITATED THE CANCELLATIONS. WE WILL BE PLAYING A BENEFIT FOR HIS SON, BLIXA ON FRIDAY JUNE 22, 2012 AT THE UPTOWN IN OAKLAND. SEE SHOWS FOR MORE INFO AND THANKS FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING!

YES IT IS TRUE, APPARENTLY WE HAVE BEEN INVITED TO SHOWCASE AT SXSW! YOU CAN SEE OUR OFFICIAL SXSW PAGE HERE.SO WE'VE PACKED UP THE VAN WITH SOME NEW TEXAS-ORIENTED MERCH, WASHED OUR SPRING COLLECTION AND AFTER MAYBE PRACTICING A FEW NUMBERS, WE'LL HIT THE DUSTY TRAIL! HEADS UP TEXAS!

OUR NEW GATEFOLD LP/CD IS NOW AVAILABLE! YOU MAY GET THE HARD COPY HERE OR THE DIGITAL VERSION HERE. WE DON'T THINK THAT YOU WILL BE DISAPPOINTED. RECORDED, MIXED & PRODUCED BY JACK ENDINO, MASTERED BY CHRIS HANZSEK. ALL DONE IN SEATTLE.

WE TRACKED ALL 12 SONGS FOR OUR NEXT ALBUM TO BE CALLED "FOR THOSE ABOUT TO FORGET TO ROCK" AT SOUNDHOUSE IN SEATTLE WITH JACK ENDINO. IT WILL BE MIXED & MASTERED SOON AND RELEASED AS A GATEFOLD LP! WITH A CD ENCLOSED (COMPLETE WITH A BONUS TRACK). WE HEAD TO ALASKA AT THE BEGINNING OF AUGUST FOR 3 SHOWS! SEE SHOWS PAGE FOR DETAILS. LATER IN AUGUST WE'LL HIT GILMAN STREET IN BERKELEY, CA FOR THE FIRST TIME IN OUT CAREER!

WELL, AFTER A MERE 11 YEARS TOGETHER, WE'VE GONE AND MADE OUR FIRST VIDEO! IT'S REALLY TRUE! "My Middle Finger Says You're Wrong", THE DEBUT SONG OFF OF OUR LAST RELEASE (Hot Flashes), CAN BE SEEN HERE. MADE BY Andy Widess, Amanda Mantchev & Derek Skinner.

BUSY WRITING NEW SONGS FOR OUR NEXT ALBUM WHICH WE'LL BE RECORDING W/ JACK ENDINO IN SEATTLE THIS APRIL.

SHUT DOWN AFTER 3 SONGS AT THE ART GALLERY SHOW. CHEF ANNIE SOMERVILLE (GREEN'S RESTAURANT) PERSONALLY SPOKE TO US ABOUT VOLUME ISSUES. AH WELL, WE'LL HAVE TO ADD BASIL-BRUISERS TO OUR RESUME. ANYHOW ALASKA! FUCK, WHAT A BLAST! A SMASHING SUCCESS TO SAY THE LEAST. HERE YOU CAN WITNESS STAGGER G SMASH A GUITAR EMBLAZONED WITH "THIS GUITAR KILLS BANKERS" IN ANCHORAGE ON AUGUST 6, 2010. THANKS NEED TO GO OUT TO MANY ALASKANS WHO HELPED OUR MISSION - BRIAN MacMILLAN, FRANK STINER Jr, DOUBLE AUGHT, THOMAS HIGGENS, DAVID HOLTHOUSE, PRISCILLA HENSLEY, BRENDAN JOEL KELLEY, NEILL DARISH, REUBEN CASH, JESSICA KNOX, GREG CHAILLE AND A TON MORE ALASKANS! ALSO WE HAD ENORMOUS TOUR HELP FROM JENI SANBORN, KHATE RAD & BRAD BUCKLAND, ESQ.

WE WILL BE PLAYING AN ART OPENING. YUP, AN ART OPENING. FOR 2 HOURS. YUP, TWO (2) HOURS. JUST US. AND SOME LADIES PLAYING W/ FIRE. AND A FUNNY CAR THAT SHOOTS FIRE. ALL AGES. FREE. PHOTOGRAPHERS, VIDEOGRAPHERS AND DOCUMENTARIANS MIGHT TAKE NOTE. NOBODY WILL LIKELY ASK US TO ATTEMPT SUCH A FEAT AGAIN. EVER. OH AND WE'RE PLAYING OUTSIDE GREEN'S RESTAURANT AT FORT MASON, SF CA. SEE SHOWS PAGE FOR DETAILS. OH, AND ITS PRETTY GOSH DARN EARLY - 5:30 TO 7:30.AND WE'VE BEEN WARNED THAT WE'LL BE PLAYING ON "FEDERAL TURF"....HMMM SHOULD WE WEAR OUR BURKAS?

WE ARE GEARING UP FOR ALASKA. MASTER ARTIST, JEFF LaCHANCE HAS DESIGNED A KILLER TOUR POSTER - ALASKA; THE LAST FRONT TOOTH 2010. PLEASE TO SEE SHOWS PAGE FOR DATES. BEFORE WE HEAD OFF TO THE GREAT WHITE NORTH, WE'RE PLAYING SOME GREAT SHOWS HERE IN SF ; CELEBRATING MIKEY AND DOM'S (EX-ANNIE'S EMPLOYEES) BIRTHDAYS AT BENDER'S ON SAT JUNE 26 AND THEN AN AWESOME PUNKROCK SHOW AT SUBMISSION W/ NEGATIVE TREND, THE LEWD AND THE NERV! WE'VE ALSO GOT A TON OF SUPERB NEW(ISH) MERCH IN, SO COME TO THESE SHOWS WITH EXTRA IN YER WALLET. WE ALSO FINALLY HAVE AN ONLINE STORE! GO HERE IF YER STUCK INSIDE.

SAY YES TO THE DRESS! 2010 BEGINS THE SECOND DECADE OF GRANNIE DOMINANCE IN EVERYTHING EXCEPT MAYBE FASHION. MAYBE. THE PRODUCERS OF SPIDERMAN 4 JUST ADKED TO USE THE "HOT FLASHES" POSTER (BY GREGG GORDON) IN THE MOVIE. WE'LL BE HEADING TO ALASKA IN JULY 2010 FOR 4 SHOWS. YUP, YOU READ THAT RIGHT. GET YOUR TICKETS NOW SLED DOGGERS!

WE HAVE JUST RECENTLY UNCOVERED SOME ROMAN DUMBASSES. THESE YOUNGSTERS STARTED A BAND WAY BACK IN 2007 AND CALLED IT, YOU READY?, THE GRANNIES. NOW MAYBE WE SHOULD GIVE THEM THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT..NAH FUCK 'EM. OUR HIGHLY COMPETENT LAWYERS WILL BE ON THEIR LEANING TOUR OF ASSES MOMENTARILY. FEEL FREE TO WRITE THEM YOURSELVES.

OUR 6th ALBUM, "Hot Flashes" IS AT THE MANUFACTURING PLANT! WE WILL BE HAVING 2 CD RELEASE PARTIES TO CELEBRATE THIS AUSPICIOUS OCCASION, BOTH IN THE GREAT NORTHWEST! FRIDAY MAY 1, 2009 @ THE ASH STREET SALOON in PORTLAND, OR & SATURDAY MAY 2, 2009 @ THE COMET TAVERN in SEATTLE, WA. WE WILL BE PLAYING WITH 3 FUCKING KILLER BANDS EACH NIGHT (See SHOWS). THESE WILL BE THE FIRST PLACES YOU CAN GET THE NEW ALBUM. "Hot Flashes" LOOKS AND SOUNDS KILLER. SOMEHOW BETTER THAN WE ACTUALLY ARE?! ANYWAY WE ARE STOKED TO SAY THE LEAST.

WE HAVE JUST ENGAGED THE SERVICES OF MR. GREGG GORDON @ GIGART TO DO THE ALBUM ARTWORK FOR "HOT FLASHES". WE ARE MOST STOKED. THIS IS THE GUY WHO DID THE FIRST COUPLE OZZFEST POSTERS, THE LOGO FOR DOG-THE BOUNTY HUNTER, ALBUM COVERS FOR MAROON 5, TIM McGRAW. HE IS A BIG FAN OF THE GRANNIES AND HERE IS A POSTER HE DID FOR US A WHILE BACK

AS THE WORLD-RENOWNED EXPERTS ON MEDICAL QUACKERY AND HEALTH FRAUD THAT YOU KNOW WE ARE, WE HAVE MADE THE HARD DECISION TO SELL ONE OF OUR PRIZED GUITARS TO FINANCE THE OPENING OF OUR NEW MUSEUM OF QUESTIONABLE MEDICAL DEVICES. WE'RE PRETTY SURE THAT KURT WOULD'VE APPROVED OF THIS.

WE HAVE BEEN POLITELY ASKED BY JACK DANIEL'S TO CEASE MAKING OUR "JACK DANIEL'S" STYLE GRANNIES HOODIES AND T-SHIRTS. THAT MEANS YOU'D BETTER SNAP 'EM UP,(Thus contirbuting to the above mentioned museum) AS WE WON'T BE MAKING ANY MORE. GOT IT?

WE HAVE JUST COMPLETED TRACKING AND OVERDUBBING FOR OUR 6th ALBUM, "HOT FLASHES", WITH BRIAN HOOD @ MEGASONIC AND HAVE SENT IT NORTHWARD TO BE MIXED BY SENOR JACK ENDINO @ SOUNDHOUSE. IT SHOULD BE OUT ON WONDERTAKER.COM BY APRIL 2009

WE ROCKED ABOUT 50,000 PEOPLE LAST SUNDAY AT THE HAIGHT STREET FAIR! YOU CAN SEE AWESOME PHOTOS OF THIS GERIATIC SPECTACLE AT LOADS OF PLACES ONLINE, BUT SOME OF OUR FAVORITES CAN BE SEEN HERE BY PHOTOGRAPHER RAY AHNER. WE'D LIKE TO THANK SUPERPROMOTER dMARIE